I've always struggled with my weight. I've struggled with my body image since I was in 6th grade. People used to call me bean-pole, skinny bitch, a stick with two mosquito bites for boobs. I heard it all. It all hurt. My Mom would hear from people asking her if she fed me. She did. She and Dad worked very hard to provide for my brother and I. We never went hungry. I was just skinny.
Fast forward to my college years. I sat indoors all the time, ate college dorm room food and definitely didn't exercise. That's when I noticed the change. I wasn't quite fat yet, but slowly over the course of the last 10 years I packed it all on.
Check this out:
In 2002 I weighed 120 pounds.
In 2011(November to be exact) I weighed 183 pounds. My heaviest! The most sick I've ever been, too!
In between 2003 and 2008 I went through hell and back emotionally, spiritually and physically. I was weakened until I hit rock bottom. I was wise enough to get counseling and got that crap taken care of.
I am grateful to tell you that I am now married to a very, very wonderful man. He loves me for me, in my weakness and in my strength. He supports me in all my endeavors and for that I am thankful. I am so blessed to be loved by an incredible human being. We are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary on Monday (29th). I want this weight-loss for us so one day when we decide to have children, I will be healthy enough to have them and keep up with them. I also want to be able to keep up with my husband. He is very outdoorsy, active, and I want to not only keep up with him, but I want to stay active with him and our future children. I want to hike, camp, bicycle, sail, travel, exercise and not get exhausted.
The reason for me creating this blog is so I will be motivated to exercise, eat right, and not jump off track when I have a weak moment and crave a treat. I do that all too often. I tell myself, "I'll start eating better tomorrow", "Since I ate that candy bar, I'll just eat bad all day", "You're not good enough to lose weight", "You put off that project at school, you've been bad, now have this treat to make you feel better", "I used to fit in these jeans, now they don't. Look what you did to yourself, you stupid fatty"... that last one hurts. I catch myself saying that a lot.
To say the least, I'm pretty damn desperate. I need to be held accountable. I need your support, kindness, well wishes, prayers, good thoughts and whatever positive motivation you can give, to help me reach my goal.
My goal:
By Sept 7th 2013 I would like to weigh between 141-145 pounds. I believe I can accomplish this goal. It's time to make this dream a reality.
Current weight:
176 pounds
Side view... ugh.
This is my backside... ugh.
I will weigh myself 1 month from today. I will have my husband take pictures of me once a month to post on the blog.
This is my first time posting on a blog. This is my first time showing anyone what my body looks like. I am extremely embarrassed to put these pictures up. I am ashamed of what I've done to myself.
With your encouragement, I will succeed. I will try to blog as often as possible. I'll be sharing exercises that I like, recipes I like, vitamins I'm taking, I'll write about how often I feel like a busted can of biscuits! Haha! Follow me, support me!
Let's do this!
Thanks,
Megan
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me,"
2 Cor 12:9
